Posts filed under 'Cognitive Therapy'
Thou Shalt Not Eat While Standing Up
Thanksgiving 2007 table; not an every-day setting but pretty and inviting, right?
But I am a firm believer in planning — and am pretty darn good at it.
In fact, my ability to make a plan and stick to it is one of the “plusses” of being an anxious person, Dr. G. tells me.
It’s why I excelled at school, always turn work assignments in on time, and am rarely late, and usually know where I want to be in a week, a month, a year, and beyond.
It’s also how I lost weight so easily five years ago: I had a plan, and didn’t stray. I can attribute it to why I am so easily and naturally disciplined about my fitness regimen.
And, going outside the food/weight realm, it’s also probably why I’ve never gotten involved in drugs and didn’t hook up in my teens; I dated.
I was straight as an arrow, and damn proud of it … and I never really rebelled in college, though I’m sure I could have gone down that path had I not been so fearful of failure or disappointing myself or my family.
Yes, sometimes this planning/structured mode I exist in means I miss the forest for the trees, and maybe I’m not spontaneous and as fun/flexible as I could be …
But for the most part, this side of my personality can be a big plus and Dr. G. wants me to see it that way; that my anxiety isn’t a crutch or an impediment but rather a “gift” — an attribute on which I ought to capitalize. (more…)
8 comments January 4, 2009
Awesome Interview with Dr. Judith Beck
Crabby McSlacker over at Cranky Fitness recently interviewed one of my heroes, Dr. Judith Beck, author of The Beck Diet Solution.
Her father, Dr. Aaron Beck, is the man behind cognitive behavioral therapy, and she applies the methods to weight loss in her book The Beck Diet Solution (which I’ve yapped about plenty here on my blog).
The phrases “Giving Credit” and “Flex Your Resistance Muscle/No Choice”that I’ve used here come from her lessons.
Because CBT is part of my own therapy journey, I’m especially interested in what Beck has to say, and will be purchasing her new book when it comes out.
Check out the awesome interview here.
4 comments December 15, 2008
Overriding Immediate Gratification
I’m learning through therapy that I struggle with the notion of “delayed gratification.”
As an anxious person, I like things here and now and done yesterday, not tomorrow.
So naturally, given my anxious hardwiring, it’s not always easy for me to, as Dr. G. says, “override immediate gratification” in favor of delayed gratification.
I can do it for some things that focus on the greater good (journaling diligently, exercising, studying, etc) but not for everything (my less-than-stellar spending habits).
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a compulsive person. For me it’s never been about drugs or alcohol or gambling or promiscuity or anything that could do me bodily harm, but I am compulsive in my thoughts. Food and shopping tend to be two ways my compulsion manifests itself. (Talking incessantly (or thinking) is another).
For instance, when I go shopping, I go shopping. (i.e., often a spree — after which, I often feel guilty and march back to said stores, receipts in hand). (more…)
15 comments December 11, 2008
From the Doc’s Couch to Your Laptop
I met with Dr. G. last night and shared with her my concerns about blogging, as well as those of my loved ones who voiced their concern that perhaps ithis outlet was fueling my obsession and hurting me, rather than helping me.
I shared that I got a variety of responses from my readers and loved ones, and how I wanted her opinion as a professional. If, as my therapist, she saw harm in it.
So she asked me if my chewing-and-spitting and midnight incidents had lessened since blogging, as this was the behavior we were initially working to change. (Yes — they still occur but far more infrequently than pre-blogging).
She asked me if I enjoy blogging. (Yes, absolutely).
And she asked me if I would miss it if I didn’t do it. (Yes, I think I would; I love to write). (more…)
13 comments December 10, 2008
Separating Rational & Irrational Thoughts
I had therapy last night and, as always, it was a great session with Dr. G.
Now I’m going every other week, and we’re building off each past experience every time we meet. I’m much more comfortable, and it’s awesome how she really “gets” me…and helps me “get” me, too.
Captain Obvious would say, “OK, but she is trained to do this, Melissa.” This much is true.
Still, I marvel at the thought of someone who can really help me see me for me, and accept me as I am, helping me to sort through my thoughts — even if they’re not about anxiety or eating issues — teaching me techniques I can use for the rest of my life.
One of the biggest things therapy has helped me do is separate rational and irrational thoughts. This requires thinking before speaking, something I’m not accustomed to doing.
That said, I’ve really been trying to think more before speaking … to make sure that my spoken (or written) thoughts are rational ones, to make sure I’m not putting demands on myself that are too high or unnatural.
This also means gauging my audience and thinking about them before speaking: be it at work, at a social function, amongst friends, or even here on my blog ….
Which, in a rather long-winded manner, brings me to today’s post about how I’ve been feeling about my body lately, an internal battle of sorts: accepting myself as I am, or struggling to re-lose these last 10 or so again. (more…)
23 comments November 14, 2008
Digesting and Reframing Scary Pregnancy Stats
Back in June when I began blogging, I divulged that pregnancy is something that I am excited for in the near future, but also fearing to some extent, given my past (and present) history with body image issues, weight struggles and disordered eating behaviors.
While we aren’t planning on starting a family in this very moment (my husband just began an MBA program at University of Michigan this fall, so ideally we’d like to wait a little longer), it’s been on my mind a lot more lately.
So when I came across this article, “Dieters Gain More Weight During Pregnancy” in the health section of the New York Times (coincidentally published on my birthday), I was immediately interested. (more…)
10 comments November 4, 2008
On the Hunt for Moderation, “Information is a Gift”
I told Dr. G. last night about my big “coming out” yesterday.
And while she supports the notion of living authentically and listened intently, she also said something else that surprised me: “Remember, too, that information is a gift.”
She went on to say, “you choose when and how to give it.”
I’ll be honest; it took me a while to get what she was saying.
I’m of the Internet generation, where we’re encouraged to be transparent … even though we all know there’s certain risk involved in that. And being so open fits nicely with my personality. Given my “hardware”, I am the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve.
I tend to feel guilty when I am not being wholly transparent, which is why it was such a big deal for me to come clean about my identity on my various social media sites. And I’ve been known to over-share, to my own detriment.
In my mind, not sharing was being dishonest. (more…)
8 comments October 31, 2008
Paradigm Shift: Testing Myself Around Food
MMMM Ethel's Chocolates!
If you have, you can join my disordered eating club. I’m guilty of this all the time. I’m constantly testing myself around food.
It started back in college, innocently enough: ordering something I really, really wanted but “knew I shouldn’t have” and “shrouding” it with a napkin when I was half-way through, something my dear college friends and I started doing in the dining hall and then, later, out in the real world.
But many years later, things got worse.
Buying reduced fat Edy’s Loaded cookie dough ice cream, knowing full-well I’m going to pick out all the cookie dough bites at 2 a.m.
Picking up a bag of cheddar Chex mix or candy corn at Walgreen’s when I go in to refill a prescription, knowing full-well both are triggers for me.
Or, though I haven’t done it in 24 days now … buying chocolate I know full well I will chew and spit. (But again, I’m 24 days “clean”)
I know myself “full well,” as you probably all do. You know your triggers in life and with relation to food. You know what makes you tick.
And over the years, I’ve learned I am a glutton for punishment, and seem to get a “high” from the purchases, even though I know that it will not last, especially if guilt ensues. (more…)
9 comments October 10, 2008
Facing Your Fears
Regardless of who you plan to vote for in November, no one can deny that we live in a scary world right now.
Gas and food prices are through the roof, age-old financial markets are crashing, the housing market sucks … and that’s just talking about the economy.
Add in the health care crisis, global warning, lack of true energy security, fear of terrorism, racism, sexism … it’s simply not “pretty times.”
And the icing on the cake: disordered eating issues! (and in-laws who have overstayed their welcome by, oh, about three weeks! I genuinely think I wouldn’t have been half as bothered had it been two weeks. Really!)
If you’re an anxious person like I am, you’ll understand why all these things help keep me up at night.
Sometimes it seems like worrying about our weight or food or workouts or waist size is monumental … and other times, it seems trivial in light of all the craptastic things going on in our world. (more…)
5 comments September 17, 2008
Entering the Last Lap: 4 Down, 1 to Go
Image credit: dyestat.com
Since I had therapy last night, and since we’ve taken a hiatus from my food issues to help me cope with the current situation, I thought I’d give a little update on how I’m doing mentally/physically/emotionally as we enter the “home stretch.”
Even though we have not been talking much about my disordered eating, I’ve noticed a couple positive things that have happened the past four weeks in that department, in spite of great personal angst — or perhaps because of it?
I’ve taken a much more relaxed approach to the gym and it’s made me a saner person — quite the opposite of what I anticipated. (more…)
5 comments September 12, 2008
