Looking Back: “Chubby Childhood (?)”
September 18, 2008
Pictures of me through the years, put together by one of my BFFs on a fab memory board at my scrapbooking bridal shower
For as “chunky” as I think I was as a kid, no one ever (to my face) taunted me or teased me about my weight.
I never heard nasty animal sounds as I walked by, and no one ever called me “Fatty” or sang any offensive songs to me on the school bus.
I wasn’t thin growing up, but I was always active and involved. And though I always knew I wasn’t as small as some of my friends, I wasn’t a “fat” kid either.
I didn’t really struggle with “acceptance.”
And If I do say so myself, I was pretty well-liked.
Pre-puberty I wore stuff from the Pretty Plus Juniors section at Sears for a while, but I didn’t have to shop in “big-girl” stores, so I never missed out on a trend: Guess jeans, Hypercolor shirts, MC Hammer pants, etc.
I always had lots of friends (girls and boys) to sit with at lunch, and I never felt funny ordering a bagel and fries for lunch in high school. (The thought now, however, makes me want to gag!)
And though I didn’t have a boyfriend til I was sixteen, I had plenty of flirting experience with my male friends who I could be totally myself with … and not worry that they’d think anything otherwise.
I didn’t really have the complex that other overweight kids in the cafeteria, on the playground, or on the bus had.
Though perhaps at times I felt like I was the chubby/chunky one … in reality, I really wasn’t. And so I feel like by being just a little bit chubby, I was spared the humiliation and shame many young girls and teen women suffer through.
But not everyone is so fortunate.
Weetabix at Elastic Waist recently shared some of her difficult childhood experiences on her blog. The fact that other people (kids and adults) can be so cruel and heartless just makes me want to cry.
And she is not alone. I am sure many others have endured through agonizing childhoods and even into adulthood.
For however stupid it is to say it, being “fat” just isn’t acceptable here in the U.S., even though two-thirds of Americans are considered overweight or obese … and in spite of adult obesity rates raising in 37 states.
Kids tease and taunt; grown-ups make snide comments and snicker at one another. It’s something so unacceptable … yet so accepted.
And for those of us struggling with body image issues or disordered eating, how is this environment supposed to help us grow, change? It doesn’t. All this toxic environment does is harm us.
I never made fun of anyone for their weight, looks, anything. Who would I have been to talk? Plus, I wasn’t raised that way; I was taught tolerance, to be kind to others.
But did I ever step in and tell the class bully to leave XYZ alone?
Um… no.
Did I ever ask the popular jock why he thought it was ok to kick the ball extra hard at the chubby, unathletic boy in gym class?
Shaking my head “no” to that one, too.
Did I share a laugh with everyone else when someone was being teased on the 4th grade playground?
I don’t know … but I can’t say with 100% certainty that I didn’t …
Kids are mean. Cruel. They’ll say anything to be popular, for acceptance.
I’ve changed a lot since the days of middle school … I see things and hear things now and cringe. I was never the one rallying the troops or starting anything (way too shy for that back then), but I surely wasn’t winning any awards for the true definition of integrity: doing the right thing when no one else is watching.
I might have been “lucky” I wasn’t the one being made fun of back then … but I definitely wasn’t helping to improve the situation.
The truth is, those behaviors are downright hideous, and they don’t always fade with time. In fact, we sometimes see traces of those mean-streaks in adults — in the workplace, on the subway, in dressing rooms.
I hope my children will learn tolerance like my parents taught me … but also that they’ll have the confidence/ cojones to stand up for those who perhaps don’t have a resonating voice of their own. I didn’t take it to that next level then, but there’s always the future.
Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Regardless of body size or weight, we all deserve it.
How about you? Were you every teased about your weight? How has that impacted you today?
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: childhod, chubby, chunky, fat kid, growing up chubby, mean kids, shame of being overweight.
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1.
lila | September 18, 2008 at 2:46 am
I was teased about my weight as a kid. Not constantly, I started yo-yo dieting young. i was thin, got fat after my parents divorce. Mom took us to Weight Watchers and I got thin. Then I got fat again. Thin again. My eating disorder ruled my life till eventually, people around me got so confused that they started calling me fat when I was thin. It was bad.
http://lilasweightlossblog.blogspot.com
2.
Pamela | September 18, 2008 at 4:31 am
I was horribly teased as a kid for my weight. My life in elementary school (after I gained the weight) was a living hell. Luckily, the teasing gradually got better as I got older. Perhaps the other kids were maturing a bit. I still shudder at some of the memories. I do think that it has made me a much more compassionate person in general, though. I can’t imagine ever judging someone, especially on appearance, because I know how it feels.
3.
Holly | September 18, 2008 at 7:59 am
Although I was never teased for being overweight when I was younger, some of the cruel kids on the playground made fun of my MOM for being overweight. Still to this day it hurts to think about it…even thought they weren’t making fun of me, they were making fun of the person who meant the world to me. And worse, when you’re a kid, how do you come up with a response when someone calls your mom a fat elephant? I was dumbfounded.
One thing I plan to instill in my children is how it is important NOT to make fun of others based simply on looks. My parents did a great job of teaching this to me and my sisters, and I hope to pass the torch on.
4.
lissa10279 | September 18, 2008 at 9:51 am
Hi Lila, kids are just so mean. The yo-yoing must have been difficult for you from a body image standpoint, for sure! I’ll check out your blog today!
Hi Pamela, that makes sense that being made fun of can make you a more compassionate person — it’s just a shame anyone has to go through it at all.
Holly, that had to be so hard, wow… I can’t even imagine … Absolutely with you on instilling those good behaviors into our children someday. Everyone deserves their dignity.
5.
auntie | September 18, 2008 at 11:06 am
How weird…I’ve been working on a post about this very subject, but I’ve had to do it in very small chunks because it’s so hard to think about how I felt growing up and being overweight. I know I need to work through it, though, because I can already see how the attitudes I have about food and eating now are a direct result of some of the things that happened when I was younger. Thanks for giving me a little inspiration to finish that post!
6.
Yasmin | September 18, 2008 at 11:00 pm
It is true - kids can be so mean. Although I never had to deal with this specific issue, being a “preacher’s kid” meant I got teased occassionally as well, and one incident in particular still stings a little when I think of it.
What is worse, though, is when adults have the same attitude. I was speaking with some (naturally quite skinny) acquiantances, and the guy told me he thinks obese people are “disgusting” while the girl admitted that she didn’t think it was “that hard” to “just eat less”. When I pointed out that their repeated attempts to quit smoking had met with failure, although the percentage of people successfully quitting smoking is much higher than long-term weight loss, I was met with blank stares.
How frustrating it is to know that (otherwise nice) people think like that…The last acceptable form of prejudice.
Great post, very thought provoking as always!
- Y
7.
lissa10279 | September 18, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Interesting how we were both on the same “page” Auntie! Finish it up
Hi Yas! I can’t believe some adults … and good for you for making them see the light. People can be so ignorant, ya know? Food issues are, at the very least, about “food.”
Thank you
I try … Steph at BISJ reminded me when we spoke a couple weeks ago about writing with meaning, making sure every post has meaning to me and my readers. I’m hoping to do just that. 