Performance Anxiety … “Meh!”
March 13, 2009
Fair winds and following seas ...
In the past, I’ve suffered from extreme peformance anxiety. For example, I’ve always hated public speaking in school, and I don’t like to speak up at work.
I have to be honest, it’s been mostly for fear of rejection/disinterest from my audience, whether it be classmates or colleagues. I always worried I didn’t have something good enough or interesting enough to say … or feared I’d clam up when push came to shove.
But I really think this new side career is going to help me become more comfortable in the limelight and more comfortable with myself as a speaker … and overcome performance anxiety, one jewelry show at a time. It’s my hope this translates into greater confidence in my professional life, as well.
That said, I tried to remember some of the tips on public speaking from my workshop in NYC last month, and surprised myself with how calm I felt, once I convinced myself I was, indeed, calm!
About twelve ladies showed up, and a bunch more are doing catalog orders through me, so I think my business is going to be off to a great start. It wasn’t perfect — I stumbled a smidge once or twice — but I’m not looking for perfection, right? I’m seeking growth, not perfection. And I’d say this is growth right here, just going out there and taking a risk and doing this on my own.
Tonight convinced me that audience is 90% of performance. I felt comfortable with these women (even though I only knew three or four of them; one of whom is one of my closest friends) and didn’t fret about my appearance or anything. I wasn’t preoccupied with that “nonsense.”
I just wanted to do a good job, present myself well and represent my company well. I tried to remember to speak as slowly as possible … which for me is hard … and to remember my “speech” as best I could.
In spite of still being under the weather, I had a great show and feel confident that I can do this, actually have my own business on the side. I even got a booking for April 16!! I just need a few more to get my business truly off the ground.
In addition to that, I didn’t chew or spit — though I contemplated it once or twice — and I feel ready for the weekend. Today I see the ENT doctor finally, at 1:30. Hoping I can hear again soon … it’s been rather frustrating.
And there’s fun on the horizon. My husband’s best friend from high school is visiting us this weekend; he’s been living most recently in Milan (he works remotely from anywhere and lives all over) and he’s heading back to El Salvador Monday. So we’ll be busy for sure, and it’s always an adventure with our amigo!
Well, wishing you all a safe and happy and healthy weekend. Hoping to have more normalized posts next week, but I couldn’t let last night’s “victory” (overcoming performance anxiety, at least this time) go unmentioned, since Lia Sophia is going to be such a big part of my life now.
How about you? Do you do well when it comes to public speaking, or do you clam up? How have you overcome performance anxiety?
Entry Filed under: Anxiety, Progress. Tags: advisor, hostess, jewelry party, Lia Sophia, performance anxiety.
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1.
Yasmin | March 13, 2009 at 7:37 am
Becoming a teacher helped me overcome my fear because that’s public speaking every day!
2.
Mara @ What's For Dinner? | March 13, 2009 at 8:25 am
I’m with Yasmin on this one!!! Teaching has helped me to get over public speaking…but I still get super nervous when I have to speak to parents rather than students!
3.
lissa10279 | March 13, 2009 at 8:34 am
I agree teaching can help, but it’s been years since I’d done it — I taught English in El Salvador 2002-2003. But that was very different than direct sales. That said, I do agree it helps prepare us!!! And in a way it’s like riding a bike; once you’re on, you remember!
4.
Kristen | March 13, 2009 at 9:37 am
I don’t mind talking in front of people that much, but I worked in sales for three years and know how tricky that can be. However, if you’re selling a product (or products) that you really stand behind, the audience will pick up on that and be receptive to what you have to say. I’ve been to a lia sophia party and had a great time! Who doesn’t love to shop for accessories??
Good luck with your new job, I think you’ll really enjoy it and receive positive feedback.
5.
run4change | March 13, 2009 at 10:11 am
I used to be so afraid of public speaking too. I have an interesting story and past, so I was asked by my university to share this to the whole school. I guess there was about 6000 people there or so. The day before I gave my message to my marriage and family studies (this is what my masters is in) class. At that point I realized that the audience could do nothing to me that would last or permanently hurt me. A particular scripture from the bible totally changed my perspective on public speaking forever. I ended up talking to the 6000 and it was a huge success. I have done this several times now to thousands at once. No problem now.
I do have a problem doing it with a small group of people I know though. That for some reason is much more difficult for me. I hate talking on the phone to. It scares me
6.
fitforfree | March 13, 2009 at 11:10 am
I have the same issue (insecurity that what I have to say isn’t interesting enough, that someone else could do it better, etc.) but I’ve made an effort to put myself in uncomfortable “performing” situations because it REALLY helps! congrats on your progress on this front (and starting a business in something that can be a struggle for you = amazing!!!)
7.
Leila | March 13, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Congratulations, so glad to hear it went well yesterday. Love the positive affirmations and your comment about perfectionism hit home. I’m a perfectionist for sure and I have to continuously remind myself that there’s no fun in being perfect because by definition you can’t get better. And “getting better” is the fun part!
I too don’t like talking in front of big groups, but have definitely become more comfortable with it over the years. One day it clicked for me and I realized that for the most part the people you’re presenting too are interested in what you have to say and want to be there, so give ‘em a good show! Have a great weekend
8.
Staci | March 13, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I was ecstatic to hear (and ready) about your party. That is so exciting, I’m sure! And, like you said, it’s progress, not perfection (which is what my Biggest Loser Kim tells me as I work out).
I tend to be okay in front of crowds but it’s been forever and so I’m sure anything now would be a bit unnerving.
9.
Sara | March 13, 2009 at 11:51 pm
I agree also that teaching has helped
Also, I had to get over that fear pretty quickly when I decided to become an aerobics instructor. I usually tend to do better when I don’t know the people I am speaking to…if a friend or family member came to one of my classes, I get super nervous!! I have to say though, my fear of talking on the phone is greater than speaking in public, which is really odd…but I just hate having to call people on the phone and get very nervous!
10.
lissa10279 | March 14, 2009 at 7:53 am
Thanks so much everyone! It’s def true that I love the products so it makes it easier to sell
Couldn’t stand behind something I didn’t love/believe in, which is why I left my job in the natural gas industry (a lobbying firm) years ago in favor of working at Peace Corps (not as a volunteer,but at HQ). Wow, Jason, 6000 people!? Crazy cool!!
LOL staci, glad BL Kim and I are on the same page
Interesting about your fears of the phone, Sara and Jason, wow! I hate cold calls but don’t mind with people I know or know will be receptive.
11.
dana | March 19, 2009 at 8:09 am
hey liss-Yes, i hate public speaking!!! I can’t even imagine you being nervous because of your magnetic and outgoing personality but I know you did awesome at the show! I hate public speaking but practicing helps…talking in front of parents makes me very nervous but it has helped me with it. I usually sweat profusely beforehand.
12.
lissa10279 | March 19, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Thanks, D!!
I love you!! 
And hey, if your Chi-town girls want to do a party, I’d be happy to come down — you know I love them all!! 
Practicing in front of your parents sounds like a good idea.
13. No Foolin’ Around &&hellip | March 31, 2009 at 1:02 pm
[...] say that I think I have a lot to show for the month of March. I went to Mexico and enjoyed my trip, officially started my Lia Sophia business, saw a trainer, might be participating on a BlogHer conference panel, and am committing to eating [...]
14. No Foolin’ Around &&hellip | April 1, 2009 at 12:03 am
[...] went to Mexico and enjoyed my trip, officially started my Lia Sophia business, saw a trainer, might be participating on a BlogHer conference panel, and am committing to eating [...]
15.
Shawnice | April 30, 2009 at 6:58 am
Great success with your business. Don’t give up.