Coming Clean: Tales of a Disordered Eater

I love Stephen Colbert and his “The Word” segment. I’ve decided my “word” for 29 will be SAVOR. It will be my mantra for my 29th year on Earth.

Today I officially bid 28 adieu, at 2:17 p.m.

This is the last year of my twenties, and I have to say, they’ve been pretty darn remarkable.

In this decade, I’ve made (new) best friends, studied abroad in Argentina, fallen in love, graduated college and graduate school, interned at some pretty amazing places, began my career, traveled to Europe three times and Central America so many times I can’t count, gotten married to the man I fell in love with at age 21, bought a house … it’s been a very fulfilling decade, both personally and professionally, and I’m excited for what’s to come.

Of course, there have been some unpleasant parts of the past ten years that I don’t even need to go into here … and obviously my anxiety and disordered eating issues came to a head this decade.

But I am tackling those challenges now, and am going to be a better, stronger person for having survived it … and for going through it.

Going on Day Fifteen of being sober from chewing-and-spitting. My birthday present to myself will be to make it 25, 36, 40, 55 … until it’s no longer how I cope with anxiety anymore.

I think it’s going to be a very good year, and it’s my goal to SAVOR every minute of it. I hope to truly embrace this — between what I’m learning in therapy, and the progress I’m making on my own.

This means savoring food and exercise: eating with dignity (not chewing-and-spitting or eating mindlessly/on autopilot at midnight) and working out for the euphoric high (not the obligation).

Savoring time with my husband, family and friends and teaching myself not to think 10 minutes out but rather to exist in the present.

Savoring time for myself to encourage the creative juices to flow.

I’m looking forward to my plans for savoring this birthday weekend.

Tonight, my husband and I will have dinner together at home (ordering in Chinese — steamed chicken and veggies for me!) and watch the veep debate (this was my choice! Yes, I’m that big a political junkie) and just relax on the couch with cocoa, comfy in my PJs.

Then tomorrow night, we’re celebrating my birthday out with friends — going to my favorite Mediterranean restaurant downtown and then out for drinks/dessert, and I plan to enjoy myself to the fullest.

Saturday we’re seeing a performance of The Capitol Steps, which I — surprisingly — never saw in eight years of living in DC!

And Sunday, apple picking with friends, a childhood activity I love even as an adult.

Twenty-nine is almost 30 … and I want this year to be the year I truly heal. I’ll do this by savoring the life I am living, honestly and truly.

And savoring the “me” I am becoming.