Tales of a (Recovering) Disordered Eater

Thanksgiving 2007 table; not an every-day setting but pretty and inviting, right?

But I am a firm believer in planning — and am pretty darn good at it.

In fact, my ability to make a plan and stick to it is one of the “plusses” of being an anxious person, Dr. G. tells me.

It’s why I excelled at school, always turn work assignments in on time, and am rarely late, and usually know where I want to be in a week, a month, a year, and beyond.

It’s also how I lost weight so easily five years ago: I had a plan, and didn’t stray. I can attribute it to why I am so easily and naturally disciplined about my fitness regimen.

And, going outside the food/weight realm, it’s also probably why I’ve never gotten involved in drugs and didn’t hook up in my teens; I dated.

I was straight as an arrow, and damn proud of it … and I never really rebelled in college, though I’m sure I could have gone down that path had I not been so fearful of failure or disappointing myself or my family.

Yes, sometimes this planning/structured mode I exist in means I miss the forest for the trees, and maybe I’m not spontaneous and as fun/flexible as I could be …

But for the most part, this side of my personality can be a big plus and Dr. G. wants me to see it that way; that my anxiety isn’t a crutch or an impediment but rather a “gift” — an attribute on which I ought to capitalize. (more…)