Tales of a (Recovering) Disordered Eater

Hands down, Dave Matthews Band is my favorite group. And though there are several songs I’ve deemed my “anthem” through the years, “Seek Up” has always had a very special place in my heart.

When I lived in Buenos Aires during my semester abroad (fall 1999), I’d play this song on repeat play in my Discman … walking through the city, on the bus, in my room with the door closed … my time in Argentina (and South America in general) was an amazing and exciting time for me … but also a lonely time at times.

I often felt homesick, far removed from my friends and my life in the States. And at times I really struggled with my Spanish — and my host family  spoke no English.

So, this song — and these lyrics in particular –provided me great comfort.

And right now, where I feel like I’m at such a cross-roads with respect to my blog and my personal “brand” if you will out here in the blogosphere, those haunting lyrics just are speaking to me.

And so today, instead of sharing a real post, I wanted to leave you with this live video and the powerful  lyrics:

Sometimes I feel like I’m falling
Fall back again, fall back again,
Fall back again, fall back again
Oh, life it seems a struggle between
What we see, what we do
I’m not going to change my ways
Just to please you, or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
Willing to punch it out
Right, wrong, weak, strong
Ashes to ashes, all fall down
Look around about this roundabout
This merry-go-round and round
If at all God’s gaze upon us falls
It’s with a mischievous grin, look at him

Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty,
We are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away

Look at me in my fancy car
And my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
Into my grave, I’d save and save
Take a look again, take a look again,
Take a look again at things you have collected
In the end it all ties up so tall
To one big nothing, one big nothing at all

Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that our emotions can be
Swept away, kept at bay
Forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away

You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You’re looking for a monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you,
The devil’s not going ha, ha.. ha ha

Say, say

Late at night with TV’s hungry child
His belly swells
Oh, for a price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungry eyes
Take a look again, take a look again
Every day things change, but basically they stay the same

Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that our emotions can be
Swept away, kept at bay
Forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away

You seek up an emotion
And our cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you,
The devil’s not going ha, ha.. ha ha

Fall back again, fall back again
Fall back again, fall back again

I just love this song so much, and it literally brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. I know, ridiculous … but it does.

How about you? What song is speaking to you right now?