Body Image Earworm: “When I Grow Up…”
September 4, 2008
This is now...
That was then...
And you know what, when I was little, I did want to be a celebrity: I wanted to be a singer.
Tiffany was my idol and hey, we share the same birthday! And I, like, totally, worshipped Jem and the Holograms.
What I find interesting, however, is that back in the ’80s, I really don’t think we obsessed over the bodies of the girls gracing the cover of Bop, Big Bopper, Teen Beat and Tiger Beat. . (I realize this might be an over-generalization but bear with me here).
I mean, we admired them and wanted to dress like them, sure. (Who didn’t want to wear floppy hats, scrunchies, jelly-shoes, and skirts with leggings attached; double-layered-opposite colored socks and Keds?!)
I wasn’t particularly sheltered … I was allowed to watch Dirty Dancing (OK…though I didn’t understand half of it!) and my parents had MTV.
But I can’t recall every having a single conversation with a friend about how I coveted Debbie Gibson’s curves, Madonna’s breasts, or Janet Jackson’s killer abs.
The young, female heart-throbs of the day –even when they showed a little skin — simply weren’t sex symbols to me and my friends. Maybe to the older generation they were viewed as sex symbols, but frankly, I was more interested in hanging a pin-up of Jordan Knight, Johnny Depp, Kirk Cameron (swoon!) or the Coreys.
While my lofty dreams of becoming a singer didn’t make it past the fourth grade, I’m genuinely concerned girls today are inundated with the allure of being a celebrity, of having the perfect body…in every corner: on TV, online, movies, at school.
The influences are literally everywhere. Sex trickles into nearly everything–even when talking about Disney’s teen queen Miley Cyrus. I mean, “OMFG” Gossip Girl is the hot show, a Sex and the City for the under-17 set.
And with those sexy, perfect, taut bodies pre-teens and teens see gracing the covers of US Weekly, CosmoGirl and Teen Vogue, often comes legitimate concerns and questions about their own sense of self and body image.
I was fortunate to have parents that always told me how smart and beautiful I was, while never emphasizing physical beauty or putting it above brains.
I had a mom that helped me find clothes that fit my figure at the time, vs. fighting to squeeze into certain trends that simply weren’t meant for my frame. (She’s still way ahead of the curve when it comes to fashion!)
It wasn’t til I got much older that I began to realize I wasn’t built like all the other girls. I was active between dancing and cheering my whole upbringing, so I didn’t question my own body image back then. I was “me.” But I sure as hell didn’t look long and lean like my friends.
Today, one thing that keeps running through my head is, “When I grow up” I want to make sure that my yet-to-be-conceived-daughter (if we have a girl someday) doesn’t hate or speak ill of her body, her temple.
I want her to grow up with self-love, adoration, appreciation like I had for the first 24 years of my life, more or less.
I don’t want to ever see her catching me glancing at myself in a mirror with disdain, or uttering the word “fat.”
I don’t want her to see her daddy affectionately wrapping his arms around my waist and me yelping, “Hey, you touched my chub!”
I don’t want her to hear me mulling, hemming or hawing during a dinner out, “I want the cheesecake but I should have the fruit plate, and I worked out so I can have a little bite, but no…”
And I don’t want her to see me coming home drained from a day of double-workouts to compensate for some weekend indiscretions.
Rather, I want to protect her from those evils and raise her in a healthy environment where nutrition and fitness are a part of life–not the only thing in life.
I’ve no doubt she’s going to see those evils in the media, and unless I let her live under a rock, I can’t control that.
But I can control what I say, how I behave, and the way I talk about and treat my own body in her presence.
I hope I can remember these things, “when I grow up.”
How about you? Do you think preteens and teens today are inudated with more messages about sex and body image than you were growing up? Did it have an impact on you and, if you have a daughter now, are you talking to her about these things?
Entry Filed under: Body Image/Body Dysmorphia. Tags: Big Bopper, Body Image, earworm, pussycat dolls, Teenbeat, when I grow up.
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1.
Sarah | September 4, 2008 at 4:18 am
I don’t recall at any point in my teens where sex, or body image was something that was ‘around’ that much. Of course you had Madonna who has always been a sexual person, but to be honest, if sex was ‘out there’ i didn’t notice. As for body image, i think its ALWAYS been in the media, but just now, eating disorders and deaths from eating disorders are more talked about, so of course, these super skinny celebs/models are getting the blame, but as i say, it’s always been around. I don’t recall aspiring to be any one skinny celeb of the 80’s/90’s.
BTW:- I was totally going to marry Jordan Knight and Corey Haim!
Sarah
2.
lauren | September 4, 2008 at 10:10 am
Oh my gosh, girls and teens these days have sooo many body image problems and that is so sad. I think a large amount of it has to do with the celebrity-gossip abundance, and the pressure to stay skinny from Paris, Nicole and Lindsay. The celeb reality shows (like The Hills) have teeeeeeny tiny girls flaunting around in dresses and bikinis 24/7. Today’s teens idolize these girls and it’s sad to see them with such low self esteem (seriously - a skinny 9 year old on a diet?? Sad!).
Unfortunately, I was similar to these girls growing up, but due to my family’s influence. My mother, although I know she never meant to hurt me, always nit-picked on my body. I was extremely skinny growing up but started to gain weight in college. Every time I would go to family events for the holidays, she would tell me afterwards that she and my aunt talked about how much I gained weight. This would especially hurt me because my cousins and other family members are all extremely overweight/obese, so with my gaining 5 lbs, it turned to the talk of the town. It was like I had to uphold some kind of image or something. Now, though, I’ve (finally) lost my college weight and feel confident and happy, but I do worry about the younger generations and what they may face in their future, whether it be from the media, peer pressure, or their own families.
3.
auntie | September 4, 2008 at 11:46 am
i remember there being some amount of “body worship” when I was a teenager, but the part that seems different these days is that the sexual aspect of it is emphasized so much more. girls are taught specifically that they have to be “sexy” in order to look good, and that worries me more than anything. a 12-year-old CHILD does not know, nor can they possibly understand the implications of wearing provocative clothing.
i have a friend whose daughter brought home a memo from her grade school asking parents to please not let their girls wear thong panties to school because if/when they might be seen peeking out the top of their pants, it could be a problem. WTF?!? at the risk of sounding like my grandmother…what has the world come to when people are buying thong panties for their grade-school-aged children?? this happened about 5 years ago, by the way, so i’m wondering what’s next - the 8-year-olds will be talking about where they go to get a bikini wax?? it frightens me to even think about it.
4.
Krystyna | September 4, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I think this is definitely an issue with the up and coming generations. Now I’m only 20 but I still think that I’ve been affected by the media in this way. I still can’t read a magazine or watch TV without thinking “wow i’d love to have a body like that” To me, having the hot body means getting the hot guys! And considering I’ve never had the hot body in all my 20 yrs–I’ve also never had the “hot guy” Definitely something I could work on with my new psychologist
You’re truly an inspriation–I’m seeing a psychologist AND I’m blogging!
krystynasjourney.blogspot.com
5.
lissa10279 | September 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Hi girls, late to the comments today! Swamped at work!!
Sarah, I totally agree–if it was there, I didn’t notice it. Not the way girls do now!
Hi Lauren–so true. It’s hard for them not to idolize them as it’s all they see! Thanks for sharing your story…it’s great you feel confident and happy now but as we all know, these things take time.
Hi Auntie, isn’t that incredible–asked not to wear thongs. Who would think to put their kid in a thong? Though walk into Victoria’s Secret Pink and it’s all catered to tweens and above.
Hi Krystyna, it’s only going to get worse, I’m afraid. Even the “curvy” girls have gone slim and slender (or PhotoChopped). The thing is, hot bodies aren’t the only way to get hot guys–on the surface, maybe. But there are many heavy, if not severely heavy women with hot guys. Body size isn’t everything and being thin doesn’t equal happy or husband necessarily
(though it can help your confidence for sure!)
Thank you so much
6.
CDlover | September 4, 2008 at 4:57 pm
You are so right. If you look back to actresses and female singers of the 80’s/90’s, many of them would be in “In Touch” or “US Weekly” for being curvy (read: normal!). Nowadays, shows like “90210″ (the new one), “Gossip Girl,” and even “The Hills” (a reality show but the same nonetheless) star teenage/young college girls who are very, very thin.
I feel like if I were growing up in 2008 (I am 28), this would have a definite impact on me. It terrifies me to have a daughter for this reason alone! I guess the best you/we can do is set a good example, be healthy, and not make comments as you mentioned with young, impressionable ears nearby.
I guess I really hope, like all trends eventually do, it will “swing” the other way soon! I mean…aren’t all of those actresses and singers HUNGRY all the time?!
7.
Mandy | September 4, 2008 at 11:23 pm
What a beautiful post… your words of the things you don’t want your daughter to see and hear in order to keep her from an unhealthy body image is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful! Thank you.
8.
lissa10279 | September 5, 2008 at 12:02 am
So true, CDLover!!! And I too wonder if they are hungry
Thanks so much, Mandy!!